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Is Fear the Cause for Your Complaining?

Did you know that one of the most common causes of complaints is fear? Fear is a powerful emotion that can control many aspects of your life. Constant complaining is often merely a way to disguise something you are deeply afraid of. Rather than admit that you are afraid, it is easier to use the defense mechanism of complaining to cope. Let's look at what to do when you're afraid and how to break the cycle of complaining related to it.

Analyze the Issue

As with past posts, I would like to begin by advising you to assess the situation. You can fix a problem if you do not understand it. When you find yourself complaining, take some time afterward to jot down some notes about how you are feeling and where the fear may have developed. This insight is usually within your grasp. It just takes a bit of coaxing to come up with it. When you have identified the source of your complaints as fear, look at what might be causing you to be so fearful.

Be Honest with Yourself

Next comes the hard part. This is where you get real with yourself. Again, I am advocating brutal honesty here. Do not hold back inconvenient truths from yourself, as this will only impede your growth and progress. Analyze that fear. Fear is usually part of other emotions such as insecurity or shame. Determine why you are feeling afraid and why it is easier for you to complain than to do something about it. Write down some notes so you can come back to them later. This is not an issue you will solve overnight. This type of self-growth takes time and dedication.

Consider the Worst-Case Scenario

Finally, it is time to take action and so something with the information you've gained through your introspection. One way to help yourself move forward is to consider the worst-case scenario. What is the worst thing that can happen if you stop complaining and push through your fear to act in a way that is healthy for you? How will actions to overcome your fears impact you? What is the worst that can happen? Usually, the worst-case scenario is not anywhere nearly as awful as we have built it up to be in our minds. When we face that worst possible thing head on, we can move forward to overcome it.

Taking action is necessary if you want to put the complaints behind you for good. These are some steps to get you started in the right direction. You have learned a lot so far along our journey. I am confident you can get past the fear to end the cycle of complaining in your life.

 

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8 comments

  • It’s provocative that you’re posting so much on complaining, so I guess I should be looking at when and why I complain a bit more closely! And then get into action! Thanks for the nudge!

    Kathleen
  • Hi Roy A Ackerman! I did, but never too late or early!

    Cindy Rae Fancher
  • You missed the boat, too! I had queued up a blog on Facing our Fears, because Face Your Fears day was the third Tuesday in October. Um…no. They (the powers-that-be) moved it from the 3rd Tuesday in October to the 2nd one….
    C’est la vie!

    Roy A Ackerman, PhD, EA

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