It is Time to Take Charge and Initiate Change
This is where the rubber hits the road...
In yesterday's post, we examined the power in taking personal responsibility for your complaints. What this entails is owning your actions rather than griping for the sake of hearing yourself vent. The idea of this may sound appealing to you, but you are probably unsure of how to get started on transforming your mindset. That is okay. Today, I want to take some time to point you in the right direction toward taking charge and initiating change in your life. You truly can go from complaining to contentment. It just takes some practice and dedication on your part. Let’s look at some ways to get started.
Look Beneath the Surface
Moving past just complaining will be easier once you realize what is at the root of your complaints. This step is important and requires brutal honesty with yourself. Usually, people's complaints have a root cause or problem. They usually go beyond the surface. For example, if you find yourself complaining a lot about the ways people treat you, chances are good that you may have some underlying feelings about yourself and your worth at play here. Perhaps you are not feeling very good about yourself, and you're projecting those feelings onto others. It could also be that your expectations are unrealistic or that you are doing something to turn people off. Identifying the cause of your complaints is necessary if you hope to move past them.
Encaustic #4
Cindy Rae Fancher
Know What You Want
Once you have come up with some ideas regarding the true reasons behind your complaints, it is time to figure out what you want instead. If you determine that you have unrealistic expectations of others or that you simply are not showing much empathy, you can act toward changing those things. The next time you find yourself complaining, think about whether you can go easier on the person who seems to be the source of your frustration. Show some compassion and try to put yourself in their shoes. You might discover the problem is not really worth complaining about, after all.
Move Forward
After taking the time for some self-assessment and planning, it is time to change your attitude and move forward. You are probably feeling better now that you have put things into perspective and have a more realistic picture of the situation. It's empowering to take control of your responses. You now have the skills to decide how to proactively handle frustrating situations in a way that is healthier and more productive than pointless complaining.
Getting a handle on your complaints and turning them into a plan of action is one of the best things you can do for yourself. You will boost your contentment, put forth a more positive image and move forward in your life in ways that just were not possible when you were stuck in a never-ending loop of negativity and complaints. You will have taken control and actually changed your life!
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Kathleen Port – Sounds like a great approach. You are right that there is definitely room for self compassion as long as we do not let it prevent us from becoming happier through growth.,
Jeanine Byers – You make really good points, I personally believe fear is the root of many of our “issues” that we deal with as humans. Prayer can do wonders to make progress. So glad you are enjoying the topic!
Kate Loving Shenk – SO TRUE!
Angela Vallejo – So glad you are enjoying the challenge this month! Thank you.
diving into complaining is a provocative exercise, and looking below the surface is sure to bring up issues. This demands a cup of tea and a favorite pen to get the ball rolling. And self-compassion (not justification).