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It is Time to Take Charge and Initiate Change

This is where the rubber hits the road... 

In yesterday's post, we examined the power in taking personal responsibility for your complaints. What this entails is owning your actions rather than griping for the sake of hearing yourself vent. The idea of this may sound appealing to you, but you are probably unsure of how to get started on transforming your mindset. That is okay. Today, I want to take some time to point you in the right direction toward taking charge and initiating change in your life. You truly can go from complaining to contentment. It just takes some practice and dedication on your part. Let’s look at some ways to get started.

Look Beneath the Surface

Moving past just complaining will be easier once you realize what is at the root of your complaints. This step is important and requires brutal honesty with yourself. Usually, people's complaints have a root cause or problem. They usually go beyond the surface. For example, if you find yourself complaining a lot about the ways people treat you, chances are good that you may have some underlying feelings about yourself and your worth at play here. Perhaps you are not feeling very good about yourself, and you're projecting those feelings onto others. It could also be that your expectations are unrealistic or that you are doing something to turn people off. Identifying the cause of your complaints is necessary if you hope to move past them.

Encaustic #4
Cindy Rae Fancher

Know What You Want

Once you have come up with some ideas regarding the true reasons behind your complaints, it is time to figure out what you want instead. If you determine that you have unrealistic expectations of others or that you simply are not showing much empathy, you can act toward changing those things. The next time you find yourself complaining, think about whether you can go easier on the person who seems to be the source of your frustration. Show some compassion and try to put yourself in their shoes. You might discover the problem is not really worth complaining about, after all.

Move Forward

After taking the time for some self-assessment and planning, it is time to change your attitude and move forward. You are probably feeling better now that you have put things into perspective and have a more realistic picture of the situation. It's empowering to take control of your responses. You now have the skills to decide how to proactively handle frustrating situations in a way that is healthier and more productive than pointless complaining.

Getting a handle on your complaints and turning them into a plan of action is one of the best things you can do for yourself. You will boost your contentment, put forth a more positive image and move forward in your life in ways that just were not possible when you were stuck in a never-ending loop of negativity and complaints. You will have taken control and actually changed your life!

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  • I think you are spot on about responding to the way people treat you possibly being an issue of self-worth. But I also think we are sometimes right, that that is the underlying msg being sent, whether people realize it or not. So it might help to give them feedback about that, calmly, and ask to be treated the way you want, in addition to working on your own attitude. If you have low self-worth, healing it might be a next step. It’s pretty hard to just talk yourself out of it. Complaining can also have depression, anxiety, anger or fear at its root, and unearthing those feelings would be important, too. As a Christian, my next step would be taking all of those feelings to God, and then getting any additional help I need in order to resolve them. Finally, I thing being compassionate with yourself in the midst of your complaining is important, because if you do it all the time, there are undoubtedly deeper reasons for doing so and those stories are worthy of compassion. I also think that deciding to do something about a habit of complaining deserves a pat on the back, because it is a hard change to make. Great topic!

    Jeanine Byers
  • As we acknowledge how we feel, and accept our moods and feelings, everything changes. Go with the flow!!

    Kate Loving Shenk
  • Good series so far! Very practical way to look at things, as well as good ways to make change!

    Angela Vallejo

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